I solemnly swear an awful lot. I solemnly swear I’m trying to stop… and I solemnly swear that’s absolute rubbish! If I had the Marauder’s Map, I wouldn’t use it to sneak around Hogwarts—I’d use it to find the secret stash of curse words and the underground river of espresso. Honestly, where does Hogwarts hide the good coffee? Probably locked in Filch’s office, right next to the confiscated Fanged Frisbees and a mug that says “World’s Grumpiest Squib.” Mischief managed... but only after a double shot!