Did you even try?! That’s what I shrieked at my Fiddle Leaf Fig as its last sad little leaf fluttered to the floor like a melodramatic actor at curtain call. I AM AN EXCELLENT PLANT PARENT, OKAY? I absolutely refuse to take the blame for a plant that clearly decided to make “tragic houseplant” its entire personality. Maybe it hated oxygen. Maybe it just hated me. Either way, this one’s not on me. I gave it filtered water, words of affirmation, and a Spotify playlist—it should have tried harder! Honestly, if there were an Olympic event for giving up, my Fiddle Leaf would be standing atop the podium, leafless and proud.