Brew my coffee extra bold and hand me my sharpest shovel—there’s botanical mischief afoot. I’m off on a plant-hunting escapade, fueled by caffeine and armed with tools sharp enough to make even a cactus nervous. My next green conquest? Could be an innocent little seedling at the local shop, a battle-scarred survivor from the Walmart garden apocalypse, or—if temptation wins—the sultry, neglected fern lounging on my neighbor’s porch. Better slip a mask into my kit—nothing says “suburban ninja” like a midnight plant heist. Now, do you think the neighbor has security cameras, or should I just wave on my way out with their pothos?